T.A.N. Coffee- Queen and Ossington

In the midst of the bustling and eccentric Queen West community, and immediately accross from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health lies T.A.N. Coffee, a fittingly unconventional fair trade cafe. The acronym T.A.N. stands for The Alternative Network, a collective of cafe owners who have emphasized socially responsible practices and artisinal craftmanship, forging strong local community relationships through "thinking globally, but acting locally." With an alternate location in Toronto's historic Baldwin Village there's more than one T.A.N. to service your caffeine cravings; however, even the Baldwin's know that if you're looking for a good time the obvious choice is Queen West.

As you enter T.A.N. on Queen, you immediately notice an ornate coffee grinder (pictured below) that is an artistic treasure beyond its obvious utility. As I continued to the counter and glanced at the concise yet ample chalkboard menu, a smile came to my face, as the first option presented was a flat white. A flat white is a latte(esque) creation, essentially steamed milk poured over an espresso shot with the difference being a flat white tends to be poured shorter due to a lack of foam. When I lived in Australia, a flat white was the drink of choice. As I ordered one, memories came flooding back, the friends I enjoyed them with, conversations had over them, and the classes they got me through. I can even remember that when I used to wake up to a sunny Australian morning I was conscious of the fact that I had to wear dark coloured shirts so I could enjoy my flat white (they don't go well over ice) and avoid the ostracization that comes along with being dubbed 'the walking puddle'.

As I left T.A.N. I continued accross the street to the park adjacent to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health to enjoy the rest of my flat white on a fantastic log bench (pictured below). I was comforted to see I wasn't the only one in a semi-lucid state having internal ruminations. It's amazing how an inanimate object, a smell, a sound, or in this instance a taste can bring you back in time and place, eliciting emotions you thought were long gone. To be perfectly honest, the flat white wasn't that good, the service was nothing special, and the crowd was non-existent. However, the obvious association I had with that drink was special, and that will always be the problem that permeates the world of attempting to rank destinations objectively through the non-objective vehicle of human perception.

9/10 (for me)

Orange Alert

Perched on the North East corner of Dundas and McCaul, and overlooking Frank Gehry's wood and glass crafted AGO renovation sits the less auspicious Orange Alert, a self described organic coffee and espresso bar. In a neighbourhood ripe with unconventional artistic flare and an enviable creative presence this unique and independently owned location seems the 'natural choice' for gallery goers and those seeking out a dose of creative culture. Although Orange Alert shares its block with industry giants such as Starbucks and Tim Hortons, in such an inspired neighbourhood, how dare you!

As I entered Orange Alert, my attention remained with Frank Gehry's renovation, most likely what Orange Alert was hoping for when they designed their space, which credit to them, has a fantastic view of the AGO and surrounding neighbourhood. However, one can only look at glass (that is not a mirror reflecting my own image) for so long without losing interest. Eventually my eyes were diverted, and when they were it was unfortunate. The interior can generously be described as incorporating elements of hard loft design, there's exposed brick and duct work, and other common loft elements. However, in architecture I would imagine there's a distinct difference between 'urban unpolished' and 'urban incomplete', with this design falling woefully close to the latter.

Diverting my attention from the 'understated' interior, I noticed that there were indeed people inside the establishment. However, this art community staple fell far short of my clientele expectations. I was hoping to see Riopelle sipping an espresso with the next Tom Thompson, or Malcolm Rains reflecting on the work of Jackson Pollock. Instead, a Group of Seven would have more than doubled their crowd.

However, as with any coffee shop, a great coffee can forgive even the most dramtic shortcomings. As I turned to the coffee bar, I was pleasantly surprised to see an extensive chalk board menu (a personal favourite) brimming with endless caffeine creations. Never one to stray too far from my traditional and rather unadventurous coffee slections, I ordered their mild blend called the 'Butter'. The service was good, and the coffee was more than acceptable. However, I couldn't help but think the person truly getting buttered was the owner, as the prices came dangerously close to thievery. There is an enduring struggle between social responsibility and financial responsibility when it comes to organic fair trade coffee, never has a finer battle ground been staged than at Orange Alert.

I give it 6/10.

Lit Espresso Bar

With locations on both College St. and  Roncesvalles Ave, Lit Espresso Bar delivers excellent Direct Trade coffee to Toronto’s West Enders. Not to be confused with Fair Trade coffee (its more compassionate, but seemingly less tasty cousin), Direct Trade coffee is a way of importing coffee beans with great speciality in an attempt to maximize the quality of the product the consumer enjoys. This means particular growers in specific regions are directly contacted by the coffee shop, and once certain flavours have been examined and agreed upon, those beans are exported in low volume. This translates into a very finely controlled product that delivers excellent results, however, at a slightly higher price. If you enjoy the art of coffee both literally and figuratively, this is your place.

In speaking with a few people who are regulars at Lit, it was brought to my attention that in addition to the excellent coffee, they also sell discount cigarettes.  I felt compelled to pursue this lead, as I was going there anyway, and have very little to do with my time these days. In fact, if I began smoking it would be my second most active hobby, sandwiching somewhere behind golf and marginally ahead of Rogers on Demand.

In walking to the well-appointed counter, replete with various pastries, I was greeted by an attractive young female whose enthusiasm screamed ‘newly hired’.  After exchanging pleasantries, I sheepishly asked if I could grab a pack of smokes, not knowing what to do if she said “sure”. My request was met with profound confusion. She indicated that she was a new employee (male intuition), but she didn’t think they sold them. I tried to stop her there, but then she turned and asked two other employees who looked at me as if trying to find Waldo. It was very awkward, the coffee shop equivalent of the awkward high five.

As I was off balance from the above confusion, I quick-ordered a dark roasted drip coffee without looking at the chalkboard menu. Chalkboard menus always appeal to me, as it indicates to the customer that there is some fluidity, perhaps even daily variations in the menu selections.  While waiting for my coffee I took a closer look at their menu, and it was impressive. There were several appealing drink choices that were presented with thoughtful simplicity. They also play silent movies for those who wish to sit down and enjoy their beverage. However, still embarrassed by my earlier faux pas I asked for my coffee to go.

The coffee was excellent, in fact, I have now had two cups from there and both were very enjoyable. The roast I had was uniquely flavoured, and although I tend to frown on people who enjoy speaking about their passions with unnecessary and pretentious verbage (wine comes to mind), I found my inner connoisseur coming out. It was tough not to notice the mild hazelnut flavour, the hint of cocoa, and the smooth enduring finish.

In sum, Lit delivers an excellent product.  However, if you live mid-town, fill up the gas tank and pack a weekender bag, as it is not close.

I give it 8/10.

 http://www.litespressobar.com/

Snakes and Lattes

Nestled in Mirvishville, in the trendy Bloor West corridor, lies what can only be described as the single most unique 'place of hospitality' in Toronto. Snakes and Lattes is not a coffee shop, it is not a bar, it is not a restaurant. It is, however, where nerds meet hipsters, where coffees meet beers, and where the most amazing social experiment reveals itself on a daily basis. Not since Twins (Arnold and Danny Devito) have opposites come together with such magical results. However, unlike the plausible notion of two men coming together under the guise of male pregnancy, the common denominator at Snakes and Lattes is the seemingly unfathomable: Board Games!?!

As you enter the dingy Bloor West location you walk into what seems like a standard coffee shop. There's a chalkboard menu, a panini press, and a couple standard issue barristas. However, the more of the surroundings you take in, the more intricacies you notice, the most obvious being the striking number of board games. In fact,  the Western Wall has some 1500 board games presented to the viewer in an informal yet, as I would soon find out, very well organized fashion.  As you do in a 'coffee shop' I ordered a coffee, and then transitioned into the seating area. I had taken about four steps of the seven step walk when my nose started to violently twitch, and may eyes began to flutter.



Snakes and Lattes Girl



Snakes and Lattes Guy















The smell of body odour in Snakes and Lattes is truly remarkable, however as you turn your head in an attempt to avoid the singeing of your nasal cavity your eyes more than likely will stumble upon a small collection of gorgeous girls and hipsterish guys. Amongst middle aged men wearing capes and thick rimmed glasses that are necessary for them to see, are stunning girls with skinny jeans and thick rimmed glasses that are necessary for their outfits. It's truly a hilarious assembly of human beings, and one of my favourite aspects of the location.

As I sat down an employee came over and asked,was I familiar with the concept? Of course I wasn't. She asked what kind of board games I had played, and what I wanted to get into. I explained I had played Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble and a couple others. She passed no judgment at my relative inexperience and said of course they had all those games in their 'classic games section' and asked if I was interested in other 'strategy games', 'fantasy games' or 'dating games' to name only a few of their many categories. Her job is actually as a board game expert. She knows something about all 1500 odd games.

Out of curiosity, and cognizant of the fact that I'm a habitual line crosser, I asked what time they closed.
"We stop serving beers at 2 a.m."
 Ha, I was taken aback. "You mean to tell me you're open past 2 a.m. sometimes?"
 "Of course, some of these guys get going on real sessions and stay up for days."

.......... I imagine it's not the hipsters or hotties closing it down.

In sum, you need to go, no matter if it's on a date, with your buddies, or with your parents. No judgment seems to be the name of the game.  However, book ahead as it's packed and they work largely off reservations. The coffee was good, but also order the candy by the bowl which is a neat option.

I give it 9/10.



Starbucks- Yonge & King

I, like many, have heard grumblings that Starbucks, the worlds most popular coffee house, changed their logo. At first blush I found this suprising, shocking even. Isn't rebranding the tool of lackluster businesses looking for a sheen (winning?), or disgraced corporate entities looking to shed their proverbial trenchcoat and black boots? Conventional wisdom might suggest that you don't re-tool a company that has grown from one location to over seventeen thousand  in less than forty years. Just ask Steve Wynn what happens when you try to finger paint over a Picasso. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/oct/19/arts.artsnews True Story!

So, as if searching for weapons of mass destruction, I attempted to boldly affirm these capricious third hand grumblings of logo change. In doing so, I went to what can only be seen as Toronto's flagship Starbucks location, Yonge/King.



As I work at Yonge/Wellington, and thus pass by the Yonge/King location daily,  I am quite familiar with the large crowds the location attracts. I'm willing to argue, and of course unwilling to research, that it is the single busiest Monday-Friday location in Canada. As I entered it was certainly busy, but with a crowd that left something to be desired. The patrons seemed a little too self assured, everyone was giving everyone else the 'once over', and people were engaged in boisterous faux business conversations. To be truthful I actually get great joy out of all those things. However, unlike with owners of Labradoodles or Mini Coopers, there is no comraderie amongst those with unfounded arrogance.

Upon reaching the cash I ordered a grande bold in a venti cup. The attendant was friendly, the drink was consistent with the other thousand grande bold's in a venti cup that I've odered in my lifetime, and they had four stations where I could put milk or sugar into my coffee. That's the thing about Starbucks, it consistently delivers good service, an above average product, and usually (although not at Yonge/King) a pleasant atmosphere. I did notice they had mugs with the new logo at the cash (and suddenly remembered why I came), and they looked sharp. The machine they poured my coffee from actually had the original Starbucks logo (circa 1975 or so) which was cool, and the sign on the outside had the classic green Starbucks Coffee logo we're all accustomed to. I enjoyed the three generations of logo's, it reminded me of that door/wall you had when you were a kid that traced your growth in small increments. Good memories.

In sum, Starbucks does have a new logo, but it wasn't readily apparent at the Yonge/King location.

Despite the lackluster crowd I would go back, but my reasoning would be convenience and my coffee would be to go.

I give it 6.5/10.